Here is my confession.
Since I was young, very young, I lived with anger.
At that time, my anger made me to be an angry boy. Very violent. Very rebelled.
What was this anger ???
It was floating in me as an ocean where the world, the others, my parents were wanting me to sail on.
But me not !
My ocean was different.
What was my ocean made of ???
My ocean was more delicate, timid, fragile.
A breath of contradiction, and I was exploding in a furious anger, making me to fight with who were there.
Chaotic boy, I was.
Sensible inside, rough outside.
With time, this anger never left me, in spite of my tries to be a normal gentle boy.
No way. I took a guitar, and played it loud, so loudly that the heavy metal fans were flying away, not understanding what kind of hurricane was swallowing them…
And my anger against this so mean world was so powerfully expressed on stage that it was as an hypnotic possession.
And then, I went to be two.
Two Jeffe in the same body.
One fragile inside.
One powerfully aggressive outside.
A total rebel.
And then I went to be unified.
A strange personage jumped out the mist and went to my rescue.
And he told me.
“Your anger is rightful. But your fragility too. Stop being in war between those two poles of you, coz you are both. By wanting to chose one of your side, you navigate between the good and bad, between the top and the bottom. That gives you the feeling to do not exist. And you don’t. you are floating in yourself as a wanderer looking some food. One side feeds you for today, but starves you for tomorrow. Only by accepting your two sides to be your whole self, you will be filled forever.
Your anger is an endless source of power. Transform it in creativity. Don’t care if it looks dark or luminous, it will go its own way.
And your fragility gonna makes your anger still active.
So the circle is complete. Each side of you in. Each at its place. Each side playing its role in your brightness.
The wise man is not without anger ! But he learned how to transform it in good.”
So I went to be one.
My anger found its place in my harmony. I used it to have the power to do my good side.
My anger did protected my fragility against the scoffer, the abuser, the liar, the bad.
And then, I spoke to my angel.
“Angel of mine, I am you now, and you are me the same.
Let’s travel this world with no more fear, no more apprehension but with this brand new light, born from our unification.
Let’s be this Angel we both dreamt of…”
To the one who actualy wonder what happen to her...